17May10

If you’ve been waiting for the Fish Masturbation app, well, it’s here.

Gizmodo tests it out:
“I have tried this app. I can confirm these things: When you shake your phone, you are treated to a horrific, wet slurping sound, and as you approach the 50-shake “climax”, the frequency of vibration increases. Once you meet the goal, the fish spews pale white liquid from its head (resident fish dick enthusiast Joel Johnson assures me this is called “milt”) and dies, according to the ensuing notification windows.”


17May10

If you’ve been waiting for the Fish Masturbation app, well, it’s here.

Gizmodo tests it out:
“I have tried this app. I can confirm these things: When you shake your phone, you are treated to a horrific, wet slurping sound, and as you approach the 50-shake “climax”, the frequency of vibration increases. Once you meet the goal, the fish spews pale white liquid from its head (resident fish dick enthusiast Joel Johnson assures me this is called “milt”) and dies, according to the ensuing notification windows.”


17May10

If you’ve been waiting for the Fish Masturbation app, well, it’s here.

Gizmodo tests it out:
“I have tried this app. I can confirm these things: When you shake your phone, you are treated to a horrific, wet slurping sound, and as you approach the 50-shake “climax”, the frequency of vibration increases. Once you meet the goal, the fish spews pale white liquid from its head (resident fish dick enthusiast Joel Johnson assures me this is called “milt”) and dies, according to the ensuing notification windows.”


17May10

Sometimes I feel like I hate women.

While I’ve often considered myself a feminist (I can’t stand gender qualifiers in the media, assumptions of difference between the sexes,


17May10

The only thing more distasteful to me than a swaggering blockhead is a puerile, passive woman.

Is it misogynistic of me to forgive machismo but not female weakness?

Didn’t think I was such a woman-hater, but I cringe thinking of all the women who are happy to play servile, domestic roles.

I do love the idea of “woman” (the more empowering version, anyway), and I’d crusade with the rest of my sex to break down glass ceilings, fight discrimination and equal the playing field in traditionally-male areas.

I adore powerful women – not needy, not sexualised, but competing with other men and women in a way that makes their sex or gender irrelevant. I like successful women for whom the fact that they are a woman is not relevant.

But on the other side of the gender spectrum, girlishness makes me feel queasy. So Eve Ensler’s Ted speech – in which  she explains how misogyny has been spreading  so insidiously in the world that we are forced to hate and repress the weaker feminine part of ourselves (what she calls the “girl” cell) – really struck a nerve.

But whereas she equates “girl” with positive values like empathy, sensitivity, wisdom, intuition and kindness, I equate “girl” with puerility, silliness, indulgence and vapidness.


trying to summarise Proust’s 1.5 million words and 9,609,000 characters in under 15 seconds.

monty python rules.


y so srs?!

03Mar10

Holy shit. My Nicki Minaj post alone is getting around 2,000 hits a day. I should make this a Nicki Minaj blog and slip in a few “serious” posts here and there. The people are demanding more superficial critiques of obscure female rappers!

HERE YOU GO!

OOOH

love that aa bodysuit, girrrrl

(When in doubt, sell out.)

Speaking of serious, things are getting a little heavy here. Too much cynicism is bad for your brain — it kills the fertility that allows creativity to grow. (Of course, it’s important to be discerning, but only to a point. At some stage you need to stop looking around and put your head down — get to work. When I say “you” I mean “I”).

I’m so used to being an angry critic it’s hard for me to produce anything because I know the probability of it being crap makes it a high-risk investment of my time.

So, to lighten up a bit, I’m going to invest more time in my “fun” blog — TURNT UP, over at Tumblr.

It’s strictly frills.